As I was driving the kids to school this morning, we passed by a young man who was walking a couple of dogs on the sidewalk. He was wearing a baseball cap and a sports jacket, and looked perfectly normal- at first glance. Then I noticed he was moving his mouth as if talking, and gesticulating with his free hand. He didn't appear to be addressing the dogs, so 3 possible explanations flashed through my mind:
1. He's schizophrenic and talking to the voices only he can hear
2. He's rehearsing a speech
3. He's using a hands-free phone
Since we were in one of the area's ritzier neighborhoods, I figured it must be Option 3. But I had to laugh: I wonder if people who shell out good money for such modern conveniences and status symbols realize that, for many of us, when we see them attempting to show off their expensive toys, the first thing we think of is not, "Gee, how cool! I want/wish I could afford one of those!"
Sorry, but I suspect when most of us see someone apparently talking to himself, our first thought is more like, "What the... is he talking to himself?!" and we are automatically aroused to caution, not admiration or envy.
I have encountered these pseudo schizos in stores a few times already. I don't think I'm ever going to get used to people who not only cannot bring themselves to acknowledge the presence of others with a smile or an "Excuse me," where appropriate, or even by just making eye contact, but now impose upon others in the following manner:
You're in a store, minding your own business. There's another person nearby, and suddenly this person says something. Normally, it would be safe to assume the person is talking to you, since you're the only other person around, they're not holding a cell phone, and they aren't speaking loudly enough to be heard by someone in the next aisle. But what they said doesn't make any dang sense. You have a fleeting thought that people who talk to themselves like that can be dangerous, but you try not to freak out. While you're trying to figure out whether or how to respond, the person says something else, which also doesn't make sense, and eventually you realize they must be talking on one of those darn hands-free phones. Doh! And some of them have the nerve to look at us as if WE'RE crazy.
It's worse when what they say DOES make sense, though. If a person says hello to me, I am the kind of person who will say hello back. If you fall for that with one of these people, somehow you're left feeling like an idiot. That is not right. It's even more embarassing than- and not nearly as funny as- when you're in a store and you hear a kid call out, "Mom" and you and every other mother within earshot either answers or has to stop and ask herself, "Did I bring any of the kids with me?"
Well, one good thing to come of this isolating and alienating technology is, schizophrenics are probably not as noticeable as they once were.
At least, I THINK that's a good thing...
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
Saturday, April 11, 2009
Potty Talk, Part 3
This is freaking ridiculous. The new plunger I bought a little while ago (See PottyTalk, Part 2) is already caput. I used it perhaps 3 times. The last time, it inverted and stayed that way. So much for the pliability it showed in the store.
That thing cost me almost $5, and I did not get my money's worth.
How hard can it be to make a functional, reusable plumber's helper? The manufacturer made no claims about how long it would last or even if it would work, but I'm thinking about taking it back to Walgreens for a refund. That ought to make them think twice before they offer us nothing but crappy Chinese products in their stores.
I'm going to have to look into this problem. Don't they make these things out of rubber anymore? If not, why not? Wouldn't that be a good use for all those old tires, if there's any way to recycle them?
What are they making them out of, anyway? Is there something I should be doing to prolong the life of my plungers? Between these $5 one-use plungers and the $4 I have to spend every other week on products to unclog the tub, it's is getting rather expensive to keep my bathroom in working order.
So I guess I'll try the costlier and even lousier-quality ones that look like the flexing part of bendy-straws (and appear to be made of the same material) next. Wish me luck!
Update: I looked online and found that they are still making some force cups (as they are also known) out of rubber (or so they say), so I will look for one of those, instead. I think I will also try to get one with a longer handle, and forgo the various, bizarre designs by which they attempt to eliminate the splashing problem.
Some of them even come with guarantees!
That thing cost me almost $5, and I did not get my money's worth.
How hard can it be to make a functional, reusable plumber's helper? The manufacturer made no claims about how long it would last or even if it would work, but I'm thinking about taking it back to Walgreens for a refund. That ought to make them think twice before they offer us nothing but crappy Chinese products in their stores.
I'm going to have to look into this problem. Don't they make these things out of rubber anymore? If not, why not? Wouldn't that be a good use for all those old tires, if there's any way to recycle them?
What are they making them out of, anyway? Is there something I should be doing to prolong the life of my plungers? Between these $5 one-use plungers and the $4 I have to spend every other week on products to unclog the tub, it's is getting rather expensive to keep my bathroom in working order.
So I guess I'll try the costlier and even lousier-quality ones that look like the flexing part of bendy-straws (and appear to be made of the same material) next. Wish me luck!
Update: I looked online and found that they are still making some force cups (as they are also known) out of rubber (or so they say), so I will look for one of those, instead. I think I will also try to get one with a longer handle, and forgo the various, bizarre designs by which they attempt to eliminate the splashing problem.
Some of them even come with guarantees!
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
#@$%&!
I hate people.
I know I shouldn't even think such things, let alone write them in a blog for all the world to see (LOL, as if), especially during Lent, and most especially during Holy Week.
But, I have to vent somehow. Or quit driving. Since the latter is not really feasible at this time, voila.
As I drive, I sometimes think of bumper stickers I'd like to put on my car- when I'm not worrying about what will happen if I have to make a sudden stop, which will cause the idiot on my bumper to rear-end me (which it seems he wouldn't mind doing, since he's so close). Today it was, "I have the right (and obligation) to do the speed limit, but you have no right to tailgate me." (It sounded a lot better with all the cusswords.) Another one was, "If I'm not going fast enough for you, I can always SLOW DOWN!" I actually made one once that said. "Tailgating is not merely stupid- it's also illegal." It was surprisingly effective.
Another one that might come in handy around here is, "Use your turn signal- it's not just a courtesy: it's the law" but I think the people who most need to be reminded of that probably can't read, anyway. They probably don't have their licenses, either, so that's the least of my worries when sharing the road with them.
Today I also encountered one of the biggest kinds of idiots I've been tormented by: ones who tailgate you when you're speeding.
In my defense, let me say that I only speed on that particular street because if I don't, I will regularly be tailgated and occasionally passed by people who have crap for brains. It is a winding road, so it's extremely dangerous to try to pass on it- which is why the whole thing is marked "No Passing." Some of the idiots who use it appear to be under the impression that it is wide enough for two cars in one direction. It is not- that is why there is no dotted white line dividing it into 2 lanes. To drive around someone, even (or especially) next to the curb, is an invitation to disaster, since the road winds along the top of a cliff and has many side streets intersecting it.
Today as I drove on that street after dropping off the kids at school, I had one of those drivers on my tail who appeared to expect me to squeeze over next to the curb so he could pass me (again, this is in a No Passing zone). Since I was doing 39 in a 35 zone, that really made me mad, so I hit the brakes instead. I came to a complete stop, right there in the street. (Coincidentally, there was a squirrel at the side of the road, and it looked like it was going to run out in front of me.) The idiot sat behind me and honked his horn before figuring out that he could now pass me (without danger of killing someone). I know I should be ashamed that I flipped this person off as they went around me, but I'm not.
I used to not have so many problems driving around here. Then I got 3 tickets in a year and had to go to traffic court. Traffic court in Cleveland is a dress rehearsal for Purgatory, and I vowed that I would never end up there again. So far, so good. But it was extremely hard to force myself to obey the speed limits.
Then I got sick of people harrassing and intimidating me for going too slow (aka doing the speed limit), so I started doing 4 miles per hour over. That eliminates most of the tailgaters, but occasionally I'll get one of those freaking losers who always tailgates everyone. It's like they never heard of keeping a safe distance when following another vehicle. Which is why I'm pretty sure they don't have licenses. And it's undoubtedly the explanation for why their vehicles so often are damaged. What really scares me, though, are the ones who are driving around with a windshield that was broken by somebody's head. You just know it was the person who's now riding your bumper.
Well, I feel a little better. Thanks for listening.
I know I shouldn't even think such things, let alone write them in a blog for all the world to see (LOL, as if), especially during Lent, and most especially during Holy Week.
But, I have to vent somehow. Or quit driving. Since the latter is not really feasible at this time, voila.
As I drive, I sometimes think of bumper stickers I'd like to put on my car- when I'm not worrying about what will happen if I have to make a sudden stop, which will cause the idiot on my bumper to rear-end me (which it seems he wouldn't mind doing, since he's so close). Today it was, "I have the right (and obligation) to do the speed limit, but you have no right to tailgate me." (It sounded a lot better with all the cusswords.) Another one was, "If I'm not going fast enough for you, I can always SLOW DOWN!" I actually made one once that said. "Tailgating is not merely stupid- it's also illegal." It was surprisingly effective.
Another one that might come in handy around here is, "Use your turn signal- it's not just a courtesy: it's the law" but I think the people who most need to be reminded of that probably can't read, anyway. They probably don't have their licenses, either, so that's the least of my worries when sharing the road with them.
Today I also encountered one of the biggest kinds of idiots I've been tormented by: ones who tailgate you when you're speeding.
In my defense, let me say that I only speed on that particular street because if I don't, I will regularly be tailgated and occasionally passed by people who have crap for brains. It is a winding road, so it's extremely dangerous to try to pass on it- which is why the whole thing is marked "No Passing." Some of the idiots who use it appear to be under the impression that it is wide enough for two cars in one direction. It is not- that is why there is no dotted white line dividing it into 2 lanes. To drive around someone, even (or especially) next to the curb, is an invitation to disaster, since the road winds along the top of a cliff and has many side streets intersecting it.
Today as I drove on that street after dropping off the kids at school, I had one of those drivers on my tail who appeared to expect me to squeeze over next to the curb so he could pass me (again, this is in a No Passing zone). Since I was doing 39 in a 35 zone, that really made me mad, so I hit the brakes instead. I came to a complete stop, right there in the street. (Coincidentally, there was a squirrel at the side of the road, and it looked like it was going to run out in front of me.) The idiot sat behind me and honked his horn before figuring out that he could now pass me (without danger of killing someone). I know I should be ashamed that I flipped this person off as they went around me, but I'm not.
I used to not have so many problems driving around here. Then I got 3 tickets in a year and had to go to traffic court. Traffic court in Cleveland is a dress rehearsal for Purgatory, and I vowed that I would never end up there again. So far, so good. But it was extremely hard to force myself to obey the speed limits.
Then I got sick of people harrassing and intimidating me for going too slow (aka doing the speed limit), so I started doing 4 miles per hour over. That eliminates most of the tailgaters, but occasionally I'll get one of those freaking losers who always tailgates everyone. It's like they never heard of keeping a safe distance when following another vehicle. Which is why I'm pretty sure they don't have licenses. And it's undoubtedly the explanation for why their vehicles so often are damaged. What really scares me, though, are the ones who are driving around with a windshield that was broken by somebody's head. You just know it was the person who's now riding your bumper.
Well, I feel a little better. Thanks for listening.
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